When I was at my lowest point in life, I remember having this deep, aching yearning— A yearning to be heard. A yearning to be affirmed. A yearning for a listening ear. A yearning for a friend to hold.
But I didn’t have that.
All I had was an empty room, an empty heart, and a God who felt so distant that even praying was so difficult. The words simply wouldn’t come. My soul was weary, and silence pressed in like a heavy fog.
I tried everything I could think of—praying, blogging, journaling. But every time I started, nothing came out. I had exhausted every avenue I knew in search of some semblance of peace in the heart, but respite still felt so far away. I remember staring blankly out of my window, watching the trees sway in the distance, and quietly wishing for a friend—someone who would understand.
Tears became my only companion. There was no one I could turn to. And over time, doubt crept in. I begin to wonder if I’m the problem.
Despite knowing what I needed, I didn’t have the words or resources to ask for it. I didn’t know what kind of help should I seek. I just know that I needed to feel safe. I needed someone—anyone—who could offer a moment of stillness in the storm.
What I Needed When I Was Hurting
Looking back, I now have the language to list out some of the things I needed:
- A listening ear, free from judgment.
- A safe space, where I didn’t have to pretend to be okay.
- Affirmation, that my feelings were valid, that I wasn’t too much, too emotional, too broken.
- A trusted presence, someone I could speak freely with—without fear, without filters.
- And perhaps most of all, I needed to know I wasn’t the problem. I needed to feel alive again.
If you are lucky, you may have friends or family who may offer this kind of presence. But I didn’t. I didn’t have that luxury. I was alone. I had no one I could fully trust. No one I could talk to.
This Is Where Coaching Comes In
This is what coaching offers—a quiet, non-judgmental space where you can breathe again. A space where your thoughts don’t have to be polished. Where your emotions are not too messy. Where your story is honored, not rushed or rewritten.
Coaching isn’t therapy, and it’s not advice. It is a professional relationship designed to walk alongside you, ask the right questions, and help you uncover what you already carry within—clarity, courage, and capacity.
And most importantly: coaching is safe.
The Safeguards of Professional Coaching
Coaching is more than just a good conversation—it’s a regulated, ethical practice.
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is the global gold standard for coaching. Coaches who are trained and certified under the ICF are bound by a rigorous Code of Ethics that ensures:
- Confidentiality: What you say in a coaching session stays there. You are free to speak without fear of exposure.
- Client Autonomy: You are always in control of your journey. A coach does not lead—they walk with you.
- Respect and dignity: You are never shamed, pressured, or judged.
- Boundaries and safety: Coaches are trained to recognize when issues require therapy or referral, and they are ethically bound to protect your well-being first.
Competency Meets Compassion
The ICF also governs the training and certification of coaches, ensuring that every certified coach is equipped with 8 core competencies grouped into 4 domains:
- 1. Foundation – grounding in ethics and mindset
- 2. Co-Creating the Relationship – building trust, presence, and partnership
- 3. Communicating Effectively – deep listening and powerful questioning
- 4. Cultivating Learning and Growth – guiding reflection and action
ICF coaches are trained not only to hold space, but to do so skilfully, ethically, and respectfully. Each coach brings their own lived experience and personality into their practice—so no two coaches are the same. Coaching, after all, is a delicate art. It requires technical skill, but also compassion, humility, and presence.
From One Who Has Been There
As a coach who has walked through my own valleys of hurt, I don’t say this lightly: I understand.
I know what it’s like to long for someone to hear you—truly hear you. I know what it’s like to want to speak, but not know where to begin. I know what it’s like to doubt your worth, your voice, and your future. And I also know what it’s like to finally feel safe again.
You Don’t Have to Stay Alone
If you’re hurting and wondering what you need—Maybe what you need is not another solution. Neither is it a self-help book or a motivational quote.
Maybe what you need is a space to be seen. A space to be you.
Coaching may not fix everything. But it can give you back your breath, your voice, and your strength.
And when you’re ready, I’ll be here.
Hi! Glad that you have read until here! I am Chen Xing, an ICF certified coach who has a deep passion to help people who are hurting heal. If what I’ve written above resonated with you and if you need a listening ear to journey through your struggles, I am here for you!
You may begin by booking a discovery call with me. That call is for us to first get to know one another, get to know your needs and your struggles, and how best we can journey together!
God bless and hope to see you soon!
Sim Chen Xing 
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